ARTICLE 10

SINGLE PARENTS AND DATING

By Gladys Alvarez
Miami, Florida

Dating is hard and stressful enough as it is. For single parents it’s an entirely different ball game, as you are not the only person who is now involved. Single parenting does not mean you have to spend your time alone until the kids move out. It is possible to combine the two; single parenting and dating.

The first thing about single parents and dating is the need to be realistic. A single person with no kids has a bigger playground to play with, so to speak. A playground to a single parent is a lot smaller with a lot less toys to choose from. There are just some men and women who don’t mesh well with kids, have no desire to have children of their own, and regardless of the reason, it is a personal choice that a lot of people have made. So, as a single parent you have to be more selective in who you date because they may very well be in your child(s) life too one day.

Single parents often seek out other single parents. You, yourself have to be open to dating someone with children. This is another part of being realistic. While you may not have thought about expanding your family, meeting someone with a child or two, might do just that. Single parenting and dating means keeping an open mind about what is available. That does not mean having to lower your expectations, or settle for someone less than you deserve.

Depending on the age of your children, being a single parent can be lonely. If you have young children that require a babysitter each time you go out, the times you go out will be few and far between. Your evenings soon become all about the kids and your needs end up neglected and the feelings of isolation kick in. Then when you are ready to date, you don’t know where to begin. Single parents often have doubts about whether or not someone will want to date them knowing there is a child or children involved.

One thing single parents or anyone thinking of dating a single parent needs to keep in mind is that the focus needs to be on the person, and not on the home situation. Yes, the domestic home life is an important part of that person, but it isn’t who that person is. 

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